5. The Rat-Tail
Besides the fact that the word 'rat' should never be part of your style, this particular look allows people who don't like you to grab you by the back of your hair with relative ease. Also keep in mind that a lot of people are afraid of vermin, and thinking that there is one hiding under your hat could lead to a great deal of screaming and swatting.
4. The Bowl Cut
Anything that can be duplicated by placing a piece of kitchenware over your head and snipping around the bottom is not a good look. This style can also cause flashbacks to the awkwardness of the early years of grade school. Best suited for those hanging around with a couple of guys named Larry and Curly.
3. The Mullet
Business in the front, party in the back? No. While it's okay to like 80's hair bands, it's not okay to look like one. Also included in this category is the skullet (bald on top and long in the back) and the reverse mullet (see Kate Gosselin, circa 2008). When they start making a wig of your style for Halloween costumes, it's time to change it.
2. The Comb-Over
Four words - it's not fooling anyone. Bald is beautiful, so show it off. A close buzz looks way better than a comb-over, especially when you're facing the opposite direction of the wind. Donald Trump may be a billionaire, but he's not on any lists for best hair.
1. The Aquanet
Tease, spray, tease, spray, spray, spray! If your hair can support the weight of a beach umbrella, you've nailed this one. For extra points, add a platinum colour and a very tight perm. How did the Aquanet beat out such worthy competitors? The fashion that went along with it, and the fact that most of our staff wore it at one time in their lives. We are frantically destroying all picture evidence of this right now.
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